Monday, March 14, 2005

SELF DECEPTION IS A "TRUE LIE"

THE PURPOSE OF THIS ARTICLE IS NOT :-

A) TO CHANGE ISMAILI'S HEARTS OR KARIM'S HEART SINCE GOD CHANGES THE HEARTS AND NOT THIS ARTICLE. IT'S AN OPEN & SHUT CASE. THIS ARTICLE WILL SHUT MOUTHS AND GOD, IF HE WILLS,WILL OPEN HEARTS.

B) TO RIDICULE ISMAILIS OR KARIM OR HATE THEM BECAUSE TO DO SO IS TO OFFEND GOD BECAUSE ISMILIS AND KARIM ARE CREATED BY GOD AND IN THE IMAGE OF GOD. WE DO NOT HATE
A PERSON BUT PERSON'S ACTS.

C) TO MEAN GOD AS ANY GOD OUT THERE .BY GOD I MEAN BIBLICAL CHRISTIAN "TRIUNE GOD". I DON'T THINK THAT THERE IS UNAMBIGUOUS AND COHERENT NOTION OF THEISM IN GENERAL.

D) TO BE CONTEMPTUOUS BUT TO REASON.

E) TO USE THE WORDS LIKE "FROZEN GOD","ICEKARIM" "KALYA"ETC .ETC. AS HUMILIATION BUT TO HUMOR. PEOPLE OF EVERY RACE AND COLOR ARE CREATED BY THE SAME "TRIUNE GOD" AND TO OFFEND THEM IS TO OFFEND GOD OF THIS CREATION. (SOME WORDS ARE LOADED WITH CLEAR AND CONCISE CULTURAL MEANING TO GIVE FULL IMPACT OF WHAT THE SPEAKER OR WRITER IS TRYING TO CONVEY).

F) TO ATTACK BUT TO "TELL THE TRUTH". BESIDE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A GOOD MEMORY TO TELL THE TRUTH.

G) TO MAKE ISMILIS ANGRY. IF YOUR ANGER LASTS MORE THAN FIVE HOURS, CALL YOUR DR.. IMMEDIATELY, BUT BEFORE YOU CALL MAKE SURE THAT " NUTRASWEET " IS NOT TAKING ITS REVENGE!!.

SUPPOSE YOU ARRIVED AT THE MOVIE AFTER IT STARTED, SAY MID-WAY THROUGH THE SCREENING OF THE MOVIE , AND YOU WATCH THE DIALOGS ON THE SCREEN:-

SHARU KHAN: OUT OF HUNDREDS OF BUTTONS YOU
PUSHED THE ONE AND ONLY ONE WHICH PROVED TO BE
VERY DESTRUCTIVE FOR OUR ENTIRE PLAN.
WHY? WHY DID YOU PUSHED THAT PARTICULAR ONE?

ULLU KHAN: I, VERY VERY SLOWLY, WAS UNROLLING MY TURBAN GLARING OVER THE BUTTONS AND WHEN I SENSED THE TURBAN FELT STICKY I PUSHED THE BUTTON I WAS LOOKING AT!

SHARU KHAN: YOUR PARENT NAMED YOU RIGHT. NOW WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO? WE ARE DONE. WE CAN'T DO WHAT WE PLANNED. YOUR TURBAN HAS CREATED TURMOIL IN OUR LIVES.

SINCE YOU ARRIVED LATE AND ANXIOUS TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, YOU ASKED THE INDIVIDUAL SITTING NEXT TO YOU "WHAT IS THE PLAN AND WHAT HAPPENED EARLIER?". BEFORE YOUR CURIOSITY IS QUENCHED, THE BIG BULLY (GUNDA-HUGE KALIA)SITTING BEHIND YOU SHOUTS AT YOU "HEY SHUT UP AND WATCH THE MOVIE. YOU ARE DISTURBING ME". SO IN RESPONSE TO THIS YOU JUST ACT LIKE YOU ARE THE MOST CIVILIZED PERSON AND SHUT UP EVEN THOUGH YOU WOULD LIKE TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THIS HUGE KALIA. BUT YOU ALSO REALIZE THAT YOU ARE A VERY TINY LITTLE MACHHHAARR" (MOSQUITO) AND IF THE HUGE BLACKY (KALIA) SITS ON YOUR FACE YOU WILL BE SUFFOCATED AND DIE!!!!!! YOU WILL BE DEAD BUT CURIOUS DEAD. WHY CURIOUS DEAD? BECAUSE YOU DIED WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT "THE PLAN" WAS THAT'S WHY!!!! (OK LET'S GET SERIOUS)
IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND AND ASSESS THE SITUATION AND WHAT "THE PLAN" WAS ABOUT, YOU HAVE TO CATCH UP WITH THE BACKGROUND THAT YOU HAVE NOT SEEN WHICH EXPLAINS AND ACTUALLY DEVELOPS WHAT'S NOW GOING ON PRESENTLY ON THE SCREEN. SUCH IS THE CASE WITH ISMILIS WHEN THEY DIALOG ABOUT KARIM AGAKHAN. YOU REALLY CAN'T UNDERSTAND AND EVALUATE WHAT THEY ARE SAYING UNTIL YOU LOOK INTO THE UNSPOKEN BELIEFS (THE UNSEEN MOVIE PARTS) WHICH ARE REALLY THE FOUNDATIONS OF THEIR REASONING.

SO, MR.. LATE ARRIVAL, LET ME, AS A DIRECTOR OF THE MOVIE, TAKE YOU BACK TO THE OPENING SCENE OF THE MOVIE. HOW DID I BECAME DIRECTOR OF THIS MOVIE YOU ASKED? BECAUSE I AM AN EX-ISMAILI AND GOD OF BIBLE (TRIUNE GOD) BY HIS GRACE CALLED ME TO BELIEVE IN HIM AND I TRUST THAT I WILL HONOR HIM WHEN I ROLL THIS FILM FOR YOU. SO RELAX IN YOUR SEAT BECAUSE IT IS JUST YOU, CAMERA MAN AND I. THERE IS NO MORE HUGE KALIA BEHIND YOU. YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING YOU LIKE. SO HERE WE GO TAKE IT FROM THE TOP LIGHT CAMERA AND ROLL STOP STOP....OH! MR. LATE ARRIVAL DO YOU WANT TO GET SOME POPCORN OR SOME MUNCHIES LIKE "CHEWDA" OR " GATHIA" BEFORE I START?. I DON'T MIND WAITING. MEAN TIME MR. LATE ARRIVAL IF YOU ARE ISMILI PLEASE, PLEASE AND PLEASE DO NOT FEEL OFFENDED BY THE FUNNY CONTENTS OF THE MOVIE BECAUSE THEY ARE THERE TO "LAUGH WITH YOU AND NOT TO LAUGH AT YOU". BUT AT THE SAME TIME PLEASE DO NOT LET THE FUNNY STUFF ROB YOU OF SERIOUS MESSAGE OF YOUR ETERNITY THIS MOVIE SENDS OUT. GOD CHANGES HEART AND NOT THIS MOVIE. I AM THE LIVING PROOF OF IT. GOD IS NOT HELPLESS. IT IS NOT LIKE GOD IS WAITING AT GATE # IO-B AT DELTA AIR LINE FOR SOME ONE TO CANCEL THE TRIP SO HE CAN GET ON THE PLANE. GOD IS IN TOTAL CONTROL . OH! LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE READY MR. LATE ARRIVAL SO HERE WE GO.......

FROM THE TOP LIGHTTTTTT, CAMERRRRRAA, AND ROLLLLLLLL


ULU KHAN: HEY! HEY! COME BACK COME BACK YOU ARE FAR FAR AWAY IN YOUR THOUGHTS . WHERE WERE YOU? I KNOW IT IS A CHEAPER WAY TO TRAVEL FAR FAR AWAY BUT AT LEAST SAY SOMETHING BECAUSE I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND.

SARU KHAN: YOU REALLY WANT ME TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH WHAT I WAS THINKING?

ULU KHAN: NO! TELL ME THE LIES! OF COURSE, I WANT TO KNOW "THE TRUTH". SO TELL ME.

SARU KHAN: FIRST OF ALL YOU WILL HAVE TO PROMISE ME THAT THIS WILL STAY BETWEEN YOU AND ME ONLY.

ULU KHAN: WHY BETWEEN YOU AND ME ONLY?. ARE YOU GOING TO PROPOSE ME TO MARRY YOU?.!!!

SARU KHAN: WHEN YOU GET SERIOUS THAN I WILL TELL YOU.

ULU KHAN: I AM SERIOUS AND I PROMISE.

SARU KHAN: LATELY I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT WHAT WE BELIEVE AND WHY WE BELIEVE WHAT WE BELIEVE. THIS THINKING TAKES ME FAR FAR AWAY. IF MY BRAIN WAS AN AUTOMOBILE IT WOULD HAVE HAD LOTS AND LOTS OF MILES ON IT.

ULU KHAN: WELL CAN I RIDE WITH YOU IN THIS AUTOMOBILE OF YOURS AND YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY THINKING ABOUT?

SARU KHAN: SURE,YOU CAN GET IN. SHUT THE DOOR . PUT THE SEAT BELT ON . LET ME LOCK THE DOORS. WE WILL CALL IT "THE RIDE TO ETERNITY".

ULU KHAN: OK.

SARU KHAN: YOU SEE, ULU KHAN I DO NOT THINK THAT HAZAR IMAM ( PRESENT SPRITUAL LEADER) IS GOD.

ULU KHAN: STOP THE CAR LET ME GET OUT OF HERE. HEY! HOW COME THIS DOOR DOES NOT OPEN?

SARU KHAN: I HAVE THE CONTROL OF THE DOORS. IF YOU DID NOT HAVE STOMACH STRONG ENOUGH TO DIGEST THAN YOU SHOULD HAVE NOT PROMISED ME.

ULU KHAN: BUT... BUT I DID NOT KNOW THAT YOU WILL TALK ABOUT HAZAR IMAM LIKE THIS. IF YOU THINK THAT YOUR STOMACH IS STRONGER THAN WHY WERE YOU AFRAID TO TELL ME THIS UNLESS I FIRST PROMISE YOU TO BE SECRETIVE ABOUT IT? YOUR TURN SARU!.

SARU KHAN: EXCELLENT POINT, ULU KHAN, MAY BE YOUR NAME SHOULD BE WISDOM KHAN!! YOU SEE THE WORD "PROMISE" IN ITSELF DOES NOT BECOME "RUSTOM PHELVAN" JUST BECAUSE WE MENTION IT IN OUR LINGO OR LANGUAGE . PROMISE IS BASED UPON SOMETHING TO GIVE US A TRUST. WHEN A GROOM PROMISES HIS BRIDE THAT HE WILL BE WITH HER TOGETHER TILL DEATH SEPARATES THEM, HE DOES NOT PROMISE HER ONLY BUT HE PROMISES GOD ALSO. A PROMISE BECOMES PROMISE WHEN WE PROMISE IN FRONT OF GOD. SO NOW YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I WANT TO TALK ABOUT GOD FIRST. LOOK ULU KHAN WE ARE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WE BOTH GREW UP TOGETHER, WE WENT TO JAMAT KHANA TOGETHER, WE ATE "NANDI" TOGETHER, WE HOOKIED FROM NIGHT SCHOOL TOGETHER AND WE SHARE "JURA" TOGETHER. YES I HAVE WEAK STOMACH ALSO BUT MAY BE TWO WEAK STOMACHS WILL MAKE ONE STRONG STOMACH!!!!! OUR FEAR SHOULD NOT DESTROY OUR ETERNITY. BESIDE FEAR IS GOOD FOR US. WE FEAR GOD. IF WE DO NOT THAN WE WILL NOT OBEY HIS RULES. LIFE DOES NOT END AFTER DEATH. ACTUALLY IT BEGINS. THIS WORLD IS NOT ALL THERE IS. AND YOU KNOW ULU KHAN WITH GOD THERE IS NO SECOND CHANCE. EITHER YOU ARE IN OR OUT. THERE IS NOTHING IN BETWEEN "IN OR OUT". THERE IS NO NEUTRAL ZONE WITH GOD. YOU CAN NOT SAY 'GOD I AM NOT WITH YOU BUT I AM NOT AGAINST YOU EITHER!!!!. IT IS LIKE SAYING " DADDY, DADDY PLEASE DO NOT WORRY I AM JUST A TINZY BINZY TINNY LITTLE PREGNANT " THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LITTLE PREGNANT. EITHER YOU ARE OR YOU ARE NOT, PERIOD.



JESUS SAYS: " IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME THAN YOU ARE AGAINST ME ". (HE DID NOT SAY "THAN YOU ARE NUTRAL").


ULU KHAN: STEP ON THE GAS, SARU, LET'S TAKE THIS BABY FOR A LONG RIDE.

SARU KHAN: AS I WAS SAYING THAT I DO NOT THINK HAZAR IMAM IS GOD. IF HE WAS GOD THAN WHY HE HAS MARITAL PROBLEMS. IF GOD HAS PROBLEMS THAN WE ARE IN REAL TROUBLE! BESIDE GOD IS A SPIRIT. HE IS A NON-PHYSICAL PERSONAL BEING.

ULU KHAN: BUT WE HAVE FAITH IN HAZAR IMAM.

SARU KHAN: FAITH IS NOT A DARK VACUUM THAT YOU JUMP IN. FAITH IS NOT ANTI-INTELLECT. FAITH IS NOT SOMETHING WHICH STANDS OVER AGAINST REASON.FAITH DOES NOT MEAN RELINQUISHING ONE'S RATIONAL ABILITY. IT REALLY ANNOYS ME HOW ISMAILIS USE THE WORD "FAITH". ISMAILIS THINK FAITH IS LIKE A "GADDI KA DABBA" (TRAIN BOX) YOU JUMP IN WHEN REASONS LEAVE OFF. IT IS ALMOST LIKE SAYING "HA! HA" YOU CAN'T SEE ME BUT I CAN SEE YOU AND CAN SHOOT YOU DOWN WITH THIS "FAITH BULLET". FAITH & INTELLECT IS NOT LIKE "SAAS & BAHOO" (MOTHER IN LAW AND DAUGHTER IN LAW) WHO CAN NOT GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHERS AND HATES EACH OTHERS GUTS!! THE WAY WE DEFINE THE FAITH SOUNDS LIKE IT IS O.K. TO HAVE A FAITH IN A CHEWING GUM!!, REALLY. WHAT IF SOME ONE ASKS US QUESTION LIKE IF HAZAR IMAM IS GOD THAN WHY:-(A) HAZAR IMAM'S PRICED HORSE WAS STOLEN AND EVEN AFTER ONE MILLION DOLLARS REWARD, THE HORSE WAS NOT FOUND.(MAY BE HE IS "ALPO" BY NOW- (BRAND NAME FOR DOG FOOD!) (B)WHY THERE IS PRE-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT WHEN HAZAR IMAM MARRIES. DOES NOT THAT MEAN THAT HE IS EXPECTING SOME KIND OF PROBLEM BEFORE HAND. (C) WHY HE WAS ATTACKED BY TWO YOUNG PUNKS AND TOOK HIS AUDI AWAY FROM HIM. YOU THINK OUR ANSWER TO THESE QUESTIONS AND MANY MORE LIKE THIS WILL BE : "WE HAVE FAITH IN HAZAR IMAM AND THAT IS WHY WE BELIEVE HIM AS GOD". DOES NOT FAITH SOUNDS LIKE "ADRACADABRA"? TO YOU?. HEY! ULU KHAN,YOU LOOK SAD MAN! WHAT IS THE MATTER?. I KNOW THIS KIND OF TALKING IS GOING TO BE ROUGH BECAUSE WE ARE BREAKING THE VERY FOUNDATION ON WHICH OUR WHOLE LIVES,SO FAR, REST UPON. LET ME PULL OVER HERE AND WE WILL GET SOMETHING TO BITE AND FILL THE TANK WITH GAS.

ULU KHAN: NO! NO! SARU DON'T PULL OVER . YOU ALREADY GAVE ME PLENTY TO BITE UPON THE PLATE OF FAITH AND I SEE WE HAVE ENOUGH GAS. JUST DRIVE ON AND LATTER WE WILL PULL IN SOME REST AREA. I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. SPEAKING OF HAZAR IMAM'S MARRIAGE, MY MOM AND I WENT TO BUY PICTURE FRAME SO WE CAN HANG HAZAR IMAM AND BEGUM INARA'S PICTURE. AND GUESS WHAT THIS ISMILI VENDOR SAYS TO MY MOM? HE SAYS "BUY TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE"!!!! SO YOU KNOW HOW MY MOM IS . SHE ASKS "WHY TWO? " AND THE VENDOR SAYS "YOU NEVER KNOW HOW SOON YOU WILL NEED ANOTHER ONE!!!!. I GOT MAD AT THAT TIME BUT NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, VENDOR WAS RIGHT. BEGUM INARA IS BY BY ALSO!. SO SARU, SO FAR, YOU TOLD ME WHAT "FAITH IS NOT" BUT CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT "FAITH IS"? OH! YES BEFORE YOU ANSWER JUST A COMMENT. I THINK THAT ISMAILIS THINK THAT FAITH IS " BHEL PURI" (POTPOURRI) OR SOME THING!!!

SARUKHAN: ULU KHAN YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT GOD IS THE TREASURE OF WISDOM AND IT IS FROM GOD WE GET OUR WISDOM. SO FAITH(IN GOD) IS THE TOOLS WHICH OPERATES OUR INTELLECT. BY HAVING FAITH WE UNDERSTAND AND WE REASON, WE KNOW "THE TRUTH". NOW HOW MANY TIMES PEOPLE, EVEN THE PROFESSORS OF THE WELL KNOWN UNIVERSITY, WILL MAKE STUPID COMMENT LIKE "OH! NOBODY KNOWS THE TRUTH". AND THEY THINK THEY MADE A VERY PROFOUND STATEMENT. IF YOU ASK THE PROFESSOR SINCE NOBODY KNOWS THE TRUTH THEN WHAT YOU JUST STATED "NOBODY KNOWS THE TRUTH" IS ITSELF TRUE? SEE, ULU KHAN, IF NOBODY KNOWS THE TRUTH THAN HE CAN'T EVEN TELL US THAT NO BODY KNOWS THE TRUTH. OF COURSE WE KNOW THE TRUTH BECAUSE GOD GIVES US WISDOM, UNDERSTANDING AND KNOWLEDGE.


BIBLE SAYS " BY FAITH WE UNDERSTAND ". MEANING BECAUSE OF FAITH WE CAN REASON.

ULU KHAN: BUT WHAT ABOUT THOSE MISSIONARIES IN JAMAT KHANA SAYING WHATEVER HAZAR IMAM DOES IN THE WORLD,(DUNYA) WE DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO BUT WE PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT HE SAYS IN FARMANS (HOLLY PRONOUNCEMENTS). (DEEN)?

SARU KHAN: "DEEN OR DUNYA" (RELIGIOUS ASPECT AND WORLDLY ASPECT) SOUNDS LIKE "RAM OR SAM" OR "HUMPTY DUMPTY" IN LOGIC. I KNOW, ULU KHAN, YOU ARE LISTENING CAREFULLY BUT PAY EXTRA ATTENTION HERE TO WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY. YOU SEE GOD HAS CREATED US IN HIS IMAGE(PARCHAI). THAT MEANS WE ARE CREATED IN THE WAY THAT REFLECTS HIS CHARACTER. THAT IS WHY WE FEEL BAD AND OUR CONSCIOUS BOTHER US WHEN WE DO WRONG THINGS. GOD WANTS US TO BE HOLY AS HE IS HOLY. GOD HAS EMOTION AND SO WE HAVE EMOTION. I HAVE LOT MORE TO SAY ABOUT THIS BUT YOU UNDERSTAND MY POINT. NOW GOD IS NOT CONTROLLED BY THE WORLD (DUNYA) BECAUSE HE IS GOD. IF DUNYA CONTROLS GOD THAN DUNYA HAS HIGHER AUTHORITY THAN GOD AND GOD IS LIKE "CUT-PUTLI" (PUPPET) DANCING ACCORDING TO WHICH STRING IS PULLED BY THE WORLD. GOD IS NOT LIKE "BACHHA JAMURA" (LITTLE MONKEY PERFORMER IN A SIDE-WALK SHOW) AND DANCES AS THE "MADARI" ( HOST OF THE PERFORMANCE --IN OUR SCENARIO " DUNYA ") PULLS HIS STRING. GOD CAN NOT BENT DOWN TO THE DESIRES OF THE WORLD.


LET ME EXPLAIN YOU SOMETHING. PLEASE, ULU KHAN , DO NOT MISS THIS: GOD HAS CREATED COSMOS THAT REFLECTS "HIS ETERNAL POWER AND DIVINE NATURE". THIS IS WHY WE SOME TIME REFER TO THE COSMOS (A GREEK WORD MEANING "ORDER") AS THE "UNIVERSE". "UNI" INDICATES THE UNITY OF THE " MANY THINGS " ("VERSE") WE EXPERIENCE IN THIS WORLD.

THIS WORLD DISPLAY A UNITY AND DIVERSITY. HOW TO EXPLAIN HOW IT IS THAT THIS UNITY AND PLURALITY WORK TOGETHER TO GIVE US A SINGLE COMMON EXPERIENCE OF THE WORLD IS CALLED IN PHILOSOPHY, THE "PROBLEM OF THE ONE AND THE MANY". HOW CAN THE WORLD (COSMOS) BE UNIFIED IN ALL ITS DIVERSE THINGS OUT THERE?. NATURE ALTHOUGH QUITE VARIED (WE HAVE CATS AND DOGS, CARS AND TRUCKS, SAND AND MUD, TREES AND FLOWERS ETC.) AND YET STILL BE UNIFORM (SO THAT THE SAME LAWS OF PHYSICS APPLY TO ALL OF THEM SIMILARLY.....EVEN ON THE MOON)?. IS THIS TOO MUCH FOR YOU, ULU KHAN , ARE YOU FALLING A SLEEP ON ME?

ULU KHAN: OF COURSE NOT. I AM ENJOYING THIS. GO AHEAD. YOU HAVE MY FULL ATTENTION.

SARU KHAN: I, THROUGH MY STUDY FOUND OUT THAT THE CHRISTIAN ANSWER IS DIRECT: GOD IS ONE WITH RESPECT TO HIS DIVINE NATURE , AND MANY WITH RESPECT TO HIS PERSONHOOD. THIS IS, OF COURSE, NOT A CONTRADICTION. A CONTRADICTION MUST IMPLY (OR STATE) BOTH "A" AND NOT " A " IN THE "THE SAME RESPECT AND AT THE SAME TIME". CHRISTIANS HOLD THAT GOD IS ONE (IN RESPECT A= HIS DIVINE NATURE), AND THAT GOD IS MANY (IN RESPECT B = HIS PERSONHOOD), SO THREE DIVINE PERSONS ARE ONE GOD.

SEE, ULU KHAN, THIS EXPLAINS WHY NATURE SHOWS BOTH UNIFORMITY IN ITS DIVERSITY. THE CREATOR WHO MADE IT IS BOTH "ONE AND MANY" AND SINCE THE CREATION REFLECTS HIS CHARACTER, IT ALSO HAS A " ONENESS " AND A "MANY-NESS" ABOUT IT. THIS IN FACT RESOLVES THE PROBLEM OF "THE ONE AND THE MANY", WHICH NO PHILOSOPHER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD (APART FROM THE BIBLE) HAS BEEN ABLE TO DO SO.

SO YOU SEE, ULU KHAN, GOD DOES NOT BEG AND ASK "MURLEE WALE MURLEE BAJA SUUUN SUUUN MURLEE PE NACHY JIYA " IN FACT, WHOLE WORLD DANCES ACCORDING TO GOD'S "MURLEE"(FLUTE).

JESUS SAYS " BE IN THE WORLD BUT NOT OF THE WORLD ". THAT MEANS YOU ADVANCE THE KINGDOM OF GOD IN THIS WORLD (BE IN THE WORLD) BUT DO NOT GET TRAPPED INTO WHAT SINFUL THINGS WORLD HAS TO OFFER FOR YOUR FLESHLY DESIRES (BUT NOT OF THE WORLD).

ULU KHAN: SPEAKING OF "DEEN AND DUNYA" YOU KNOW YASMEEN AND HER HUSBAND MURAD , RIGHT. YOU KNOW THE ONE ON THE THIRD FLOOR IN C-II APARTMENT. I HEARD THAT MURAD WAS SEEN FROM A DISTANCE BY HER IN A RED-LIGHT AREA BARGAINING WITH YOU KNOW WHO, WHILE SHE WAS ON HER WAY HOME WITH HER FRIENDS FROM SHOPPING BY A CAB. SHE WAS FURIOUSLY WAITED FOR HIM TO COME HOME. WHEN HE ARRIVED SHE UNLOADED ON HIM "DON'T YOU HAVE SHAME?". "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". "YOUR GOING TO JAMAT KHANA EVERY DAY DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING". "YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE". "WHAT WERE YOU DOING TALKING TO "THAT WOMAN "BEHIND THE CURTAIN IN RED-LIGHT AREA?" "I WANT AN ANSWER?". SO GUESS WHAT STUPID MURAD'S ANSWER WAS. HE ANSWERED "SWEETHEART, I WAS IN "DUNYA" WHEN I WAS IN RED-LIGHT AREA AND WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU, THAT IS WHEN I AM IN "DEEN"!!! YASMEEN RUSHED TO THE BACK ROOM, AND CAME RIGHT BACK WITH BOTH HAND BEHIND HER BACK.. SO MURAD GOT SUSPICIOUS AND ASKED HER "WHAT ARE YOU HIDING BEHIND YOUR BACK" AND YASMEEN RESPONDED "DUNYA" AND LET MURAD HAVE IT ON HIS HEAD " BIG THOKKA " (BAT)!!!!!!! MURAD HAS SERIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS NOW.

SARU KHAN: WHAT ARE THOSE PROBLEMS?

ULU KHAN: ANY TIME WHEN MURAD IS COLLECTING "PHADDA" (DONATION FOR JAMAT KHANA) DOOR TO DOOR AND IF A HOUSE-WIFE ANSWERS THE DOOR-KNOCK BY PULLING OPEN "THE CURTAIN", HE SCREAMS "NO! NO MORE THOKKA"!!!!. ALSO YASMEEN IS NOT ALLOWED TO PUT HER HANDS BEHIND HER BACK ANY MORE !! AND MURAD DOES NOT TAKE THE SAME ROUTE TO DRIVE TO HIS PLACE OF BUSINESS AS HE USED TO.

SARU KHAN: WHAT THIS GOT TO DO WITH CHANGING THE ROUTE TO PLACE OF BUSINESS?

ULU KHAN: BECAUSE THERE HAPPENS TO BE "THOBBI GHATT" ON THE OLD ROUTE!!!!!!!!!

SARU, PULL OVER IN THIS REST AREA BECAUSE I AM HUNGRY AS WOLF AND LET'S FILL-UP GAS.

SARU KHAN: ME TOO. LET'S CHOW DOWN.

ULU KHAN: O.K. SO LET'S TALK ABOUT "DEEN" NOW.

SARU KHAN: ULU KHAN YOU ARE ASKING ME ABOUT "DEEN" SO WHERE HAVE YOU "BEEN" ?. THERE ARE NUMBERS OF FURMAN SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHA SPOKE IN THE WAY OF PROPHESIES WHICH WERE COMPLETELY FALSE. I GIVE YOU FEW EXAMPLES. OH! BY THE WAY THESE PROPHESIES WERE ONCE FOUND IN OLD "NUR-E-MUBIN",( GLIMPSES OF GOD) BUT NOW YOU CAN NOT FIND "THE OLD NUR-E-MUBIN BECAUSE KARIM HAZAR IMAM FOUND IT VERY EMBARRASSING TO SEE HOW MANY PROPHESIES NEVER CAME TRUE AND MANY OTHER BLUNDERS. SO HE BAND IT!!! THERE IS A NEW ONE WHICH IS "NEW AND IMPROVED VERSION OF NUR -E- MUBIN WHERE ALL THESE NONSENSE HAS BEEN EDITED BY ISMILIA COUNCIL. I PERSONALLY SPOKE OVER THE PHONE WITH MR. CHUNARA, THE WRITER OF OLD NUR-E- MUBIN AND MENTIONED TO HIM THAT I WAS INTERESTED TO PURCHASE AN OLD ORIGINAL VERSION OF NUR- E- MUBIN . I WAS TOLD BY MR. CHUNARA, "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS OLD NUR-E-MUBIN ANYMORE". WHY NOT? I ASKED . MR. CHUNARA,WITHOUT ANY SECOND THOUGHT ANSWERED, "BECAUSE MANY PROPHECIES OF SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH WERE FALSE THAT IS WHY AND ISMILIA COUNCIL UNDER THE ORDER OF KARIM HAZAR IMAM'S INSTRUCTIONS DO NOT WANT ME TO SELL OLD ORIGINAL VERSION OF NUR-E-MUBIN". SO NOW WE HAVE NEW AND IMPROVED NUR-E-MUBIN AND NOT OLD AND JUNK ONE. NOW LET ME GO BACK TO MY ORIGINAL THOUGHTS OF GIVING SOME EXAMPLES FROM THE OLD NUR-E-MUBIN.

THERE WAS THIS PICTURE OF PRINCE ALY KHAN IN A "RAJ-PUT" (PRINCELY) DRESS WITH A SWORD IN HIS HAND. THE FURMAN BY SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH SAYS "ONE DAY MY SON ALY WILL RIDE ON THE "DUL DUL" HORSE AND PROCLAIM THAT ALI IS TRUE GOD AND HE WILL TAKE OVER MY DIVINITY AFTER MY DEPARTURE FROM THIS WORLD".

YOU KNOW WHAT? PRINCE ALI NEVER TOOK OVER DIVINITY. NOW ISMILIS GIVE THIS CONVOLUTED REASONING THAT "BECAUSE SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH KNEW THAT PRINCE ALI WILL DIE THAT IS WHY HE DID NOT APPOINTED PRINCE ALI AS NEXT IN LINE"!!!.

LET ME CRACK OPEN THIS NONSENSE REASONING. IF SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH KNEW THAT PRINCE ALI WILL DIE SOON THAN WHY DID HE MENTIONED IN THE FURMAN THAT ALI WILL BE THE NEXT IN LINE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!! GOD IS NOT ALL KNOWING SOME TIME AND SOME PLACE. GOD KNOWS FROM THE BAGGING TO THE END ALL THE TIME. GOD PREDESTINED OUR LIVES AND KNOWS EVERY THING BEFORE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD. THAT IS WHY JESUS SAYS "I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA" ( I AM THE BEGINNING AND THE END) GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKE AND THAN REGRET IT AND THAN CORRECT IT!!!. YOU KNOW WE ALL,WHENEVER IT IS CONVENIENT FOR US, USE THIS PHRASE "KHUDA KI MARJEE SIWA EK PATTA BHI DARAKHT SE NICHE NAHI GIRTA" (WITHOUT GOD'S WILL NOT A SINGLE LEAF FALLS OFF THE TREE) YES GOD IS IN CONTROL. HE EVEN KNOWS HOW MANY HAIRS ON OUR HEADS AT THIS MOMENT.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE: SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH PROPHECIED IN 1901 THAT ISNASARI ( SHIA ) SECT (CHOTI JAMAT) WILL BE EXTINCT WITHIN IOO YEARS. AND HE WAS AS SURE ABOUT THIS AS I AM SURE THAT SUN WILL RISE TOMORROW. WELL GUESS WHAT? IOO YEARS PASSED BY AND SHIA SECT GREW LARGER THAN BEFORE!!!. NOW IF SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH'S "JOMO" (DIVINITY) WAS TRANSFORMED TO HAZAR IMAM THAN PRINCE KARIM CAN MAKE AND HAS MADE FALSE PROPHECIES. THIS LOGICALLY SHOWS THAT FROM ALI TO KARIM IT IS ALL FAKE BALONEY!!!

ANOTHER EXAMPLE:..........

ULU KHAN: HOLD IT HOLD IT!. IF SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH WAS WRONG ONLY FOR ONE TIME THAN ANOTHER EXAMPLE IS NOT NECESSARY. BUT WHAT IF HAZAR IMAM IS OUR PRESENT IMAM AND NOT, LET'S SAY, GOD?.

SARU KHAN: WE PLAY CUTE SELF DECEPTION "KABBADDI" WHEN WE USE THIS KIND OF REASONING. YOU KNOW, ULU KHAN, ISMILIS GET UP FROM SITTING POSITION IN JAMAT KHANA TO GO TO THE " PATT" (ALTAR) ONE BY ONE STAND IN FRONT OF HAZAR IMAM'S PICTURE SEVEN DAYS A WEEK , TWICE, ONCE IN THE MORNING AND ONCE IN THE EVENING , HAND MONEY TO "MUKHI"(PASTOR), FOLD THEIR HANDS AND PRAY TO HAZAR IMAM (PRINCE KARIM) SAYING "TOBO TOBO TAKSHIDAR BANDO SITA PAR GUNEGHAR YA SHAH TU GUNA BAKHSE BAKHSHAN HAR". (I REPENT BECAUSE I AM A SINNER. OH! PRINCE KARIM FORGIVE ME BECAUSE YOU ARE THE FORGIVER OF SINS). GOD FORGIVES SINS AND NOT IMAM. IF HE IS AN IMAM THAN WHY ASKING HIM FOR FORGIVENESS OF OUR SINS. YOU KNOW AND I KNOW THAT EVERY ISMILI PARENT TELL THEIR CHILDREN THAT HAZAR IMAM (PRINCE KARIM)IS GOD. YOU KNOW ISMILIS FREQUENTLY MAKE RELIGIOUS STATEMENT LIKE "HAZAR IMAM TO CHODO BHAVAN JO DHANI AAY" (PRINCE KARIM IS THE CREATOR OF FOURTEEN COSMOS) WHEN WE PLAY THIS SELF DECEPTION GAME OF GOD & IMAM "BAND BAJJA" ( BALONEY), WE ARE ONLY FOOLING OUR SELVES. WE ARE "PLAYING CUTE" WHEN WE TELL NON-ISMILIS THAT WE BELIEVE PRINCE KARIM AS OUR " IMAM ONLY". THERE IS A TACIT AGREEMENT AMONG ISMILIES NOT TO TELL OTHERS THAT KARIM IS THEIR GOD. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS EVENT THAT TOOK PLACE IN CHICAGO, ILL. U.S.A. THERE WAS A DINNER RECEPTION HELD FOR HAZAR IMAM ON THE SAME DAY HE GAVE DEEDAR(SHOWED IS HOLLY DIVINE GLIMPSES) . DR. ZUL , CHAIRMAN OF ISMILIA COUNCIL WAS THE HOST OF THE DINNER RECEPTION. IN HIS WELLCOME SPEECH TO HAZAR IMAM HE ADDRESSED HAZAR IMAM AS KHUDAWEEND (GOD)NUMEROUS TIMES. HAZAR IMAM NEVER SHOWED ANY DISCOMFORT OR REFUSED TO ACCEPT THIS TITLE OF KHUDAWEEND (GOD ) AT ALL. IN FACT HE SMILED AS AN INDICATION OF HIS ACCEPTANCE AS GOD. NOW IF HE IS NOT CLAIMING TO BE GOD THAN HE MUST GET ANGRY AND UPSET AND ASK DR. ZUL TO STOP CALLING HIM KHUDAWEEND (GOD). LET ME GIVE YOU ANOTHER GYMNASTIC OF HAZAR IMAM. THERE WAS A T.V. PROGRAMME APPEARED IN CANADA. THE NAME OF THIS PROGRAMME WAS "THE MAN ALIVE" . IT WAS HAZAR IMAM'S INTERVIEW. THE HOST OF THE SHOW ASKED HAZAR IMAM THIS QUESTION OUT OF NO WHERE ! AND THE QUESTION WAS "ARE YOU GOD ?" . HAZAR IMAM'S FACE BECAME GHOSTLY WHITE PALE ( IF OUR MOTHERS WERE WATCHING IT, THEY MIGHT HAVE SAID " WHERE IN THE WORLD THAT "NOOR" DISAPPEARED FROM HAZAR IMAM'S FACE ) THINKING MILLIONS DOLLARS PER DAY INCOME FROM ISMILIS WILL BE DOWN THE DRAIN. AFTER BIG GULP OF AIR HE STARTED HIS GYMNASTICS OF "VERBAL MUMBO JUMBO". IT WAS A VERY SIMPLE ANSWER OF YES OR NO. LET ME TELL YOU WHAT HIS ANSWER WAS. "ONE HAS TO BE VERY CAREFFUL WHEN HE ASKS ABOUT THE QUESTION OF DIVINITY". IMAGINE , ULU KHAN, IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU "ARE YOU ULU KHAN? AND YOU GO IN TO THIS MUMBO JUMBO AND ANSWER: "WELL SEE YOU HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFULL BEFORE YOU SAY ULU KHAN BECAUSE YOU COULD HAVE CALL ME " BUNDU KHAN" OR YOU COULD HAVE CALLED ME "AMAR KHAN" OR YOU COULD HAVE CALLED ME KUBLA KHAN AND BLAA BLAA BLLAA.. NONSENSE. YOU KNOW THE MOST IRONIC PART OF THIS WHOLE THING IS?. THERE WERE THOUSANDS OF THESE ISMILIS IN ATTENDANCE AT THAT DINNER RECEPTION AND THEY ALL HEARD DR. ZUL ADDRESSING HAZAR IMAM AS KHUDAWEEND (GOD) AND THESE SAME ISMILIES WILL TELL NON-ISMILIS " OH! WE BELIEVE PRINCE KARIM AS IMAM AND NOT GOD"!!! SEE, ULU KHAN, "SELF DECEPTION IS A TRUE LIE". GOD OF THIS UNIVERSE, THE ONE WHO CREATED US KNOWS THE DEEPEST CHAMBER OF OUR HEARTS. WE CAN FOOL PEOPLE BY PLAYING CUTE GAME OF " IMAM & GOD " BUT CAN NOT FOOL GOD OF THIS CREATION.

WHICH IMAM MAKES FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS PER DAY FROM HIS FOLLOWERS AND THAN BUYS RACE HORSES TO GAMBLE.? DO YOU REMEMBER SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH'S FARMANS (HOLLY COMMANDMENTS), ASKING ISMILIS ALL THE TIMES TO DO "KAR KASAR" (BE FRUGAL) (DON'T SPENT TOO MUCH). WELL LET ME TELL YOU HAZAR IMAM'S AND SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH'S SPENDING HABITS. AT AN EVERAGE , ONE RACE HORSE PURCHASE PRICE IS THREE MILLION DOLLARS!!!! AND THIS MAN , WHILE WE WERE STARVING IN THE LAND OF BEGGARS , ASKING US TO SPENT LESS!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS !!!!!! ULU KHAN, SEE IF YOU HAVE BOTTLE OF MAALOX OR PEPTO BISMOL IN THE PESSENGER SIDE DOOR COMPARTMENT?

WHICH IMAM, YOU KNOW OF , GIVES "BOL" (SECRET WORD) TO CHANT UPON?. WHEN I RECEIVED MY "BOL" DIRECTLY FROM KARIM HAZAR IMAM I WAS TOLD THAT IF I EVER MENTION THIS SECRET WORD TO ANY INDIVIDUAL I WILL GO MENTALLY INSANE!!!! SO LET ME PROVE THE POINT. MY BOL IS..........

ULU KHAN: OH NO! PLEASE NO! DO NOT MENTION IT TO ME NOW. I AM VERY MUCH AFRAID AND MY LEGS ARE SHAKY!. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. HOW WE WILL GET HOME IF YOU GO CRAZY?!!! THERE GOES DELICIOUS "PAYA" MY WIFE COOKED FOR ME TODAY!!. MY FAT " SAS " (MOTHER IN LAW) IS LUCKY AGAIN!!. SHE WILL EAT ALL MY "PAYA". OH NO!!! BECAUSE OF HER THERE WILL BE NO LEFTOVER EITHER!!!!! I RATHER SUE SIDE THAN THINK ABOUT THAT " MOHAN JO DERO" (MY SAAS - MOTHER IN LAW) EATING MY "PAYA"!!!!.

BESIDE WHAT I WILL SAY AT THE ADMITTING DESK AT THE MENTAL HOSPITAL WHEN THEY ASK "HOW DID HE GO INSANE"? IF I ANSWER BECAUSE OF "BOL" THEY MIGHT THINK YOUR TEAM LOST IN THE SUPPER "BOWL". I CAN NOT HANDLE ALL THIS. I THINK HAZAR IMAM SHOULD HAVE SAID TO YOU THAT "PERSON TO WHOM YOU MENTION THIS SECRET "BOL" TO SHOULD GO CRAZY" AND NOT YOU!!.

SARU KHAN: O.K., O.K., ULU KHAN, STOP ALL THESE . YOU ARE AFRAID BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT OUR PARENTS HAVE VERY FIRMLY INTRENCHED IN US SINCE OUR CHILDHOOD. GIVE ME ONE LOGICAL REASON WHY AND HOW BY MENTIONING THIS "BOL" TO ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL WILL AFFECT THE BRAIN TO THE POINT THAT YOU WILL GO INSANE? IS THERE SOME KIND OF (B.B.C.) "BOL ,BRAIN AND CABLE " CONNECTION HERE?. HEY! ULU KHAN YOU KNOW I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING FUNNY.

ULU KHAN: AND WHAT'S THAT?

SARU KHAN: WHAT IF FEW ISMILIS WERE CAPTURED IN THE WAR AND EVERY THING WAS CONFISCATED BY THE ENEMY ARMY SO THEY DON'T PLAY ANY TRICK . NEXT DAY THEY ARE BROUGHT IN TO A LARGE ROOM, TO BE INTERROGATED, WITH A SURE SHOT TO OBTAIN THEIR SECRET WAR PLAN. THE COMMANDER OF THE ENEMY ARMY PLACES A BOTTLE OF "TRUTH SERUM" IN EACH CAPTURED ISMILI SOLDIER'S PALM AND ORDERS THEM TO DRINK IT. TO THE COMMANDER'S COMPLETE SURPRISE ISMILIES BEFORE DRINKING THE TRUTH SERUM, IN UNISON, LOUDLY MENTION THEIR "BOL" AND SING A SONG THAT GOES LIKE THIS "DEEVNO SE YE MAT POOCHO DEEVNO PE KYA GOOJREE HAY....!!!!

ULU KHAN: YES BUT I DO NOT SEE THIS WILL CAUSE GREAT PROBLEM FOR THE COMMANDER.

SARU KHAN: WHY NOT?

ULU KHAN: BECAUSE THE COMMANDER'S WIFE DID NOT COOK "PAYA" FOR HIM THAT DAY!!!.

SARU KHAN: DO YOU WANT TO HEAR MY "BOL" OR NOT?

ULU KHAN: ON ONE CONDITION . FIRST YOU PARK THE CAR AND THAN TELL ME. IN CASE IF YOU GO NUT THAN I CAN HICH HIKE BECAUSE , AS YOU KNOW,I CAN NOT DRIVE. OH! ALSO UN-LOCK THE DOORS.

SARU KHAN: NO PROBLEM. HERE COMES THE REST AREA . LET ME UN-LOCK THE DOORS AND DRIVE IN AND HERE......WE.......PARKED. NOW CAN I TELL YOU WHAT MY "BOL" (SECRET WORD) IS?

ULU KHAN: NO! NO! DO NOT PARK HERE. PARK NEAR MEN'S RESTROOM .

SARU KHAN: WHY NEAR MEN'S ROOMS?

ULU KHAN: BECAUSE IN CASE IF YOU GO CRAZY AND BEAT ME UP THINKING I AM YOUR WIFE, I CAN USE MEN'S ROOM AS MY "MAWTARE" !!!!! (WIFE'S PARENTS HOME WHERE SHE GOES TO FOR FEW DAYS WHEN HER HUSBAND BEATS HER UP!!!!)

SARU KHAN: OK. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW.? IS IT CLOSE ENOUGH? NOW CAN I TELL YOU MY BOL? YOU KNOW,ULU KHAN, IT IS YOU WHO WILL DRIVE ME CRAZY AND NOT TELLING YOU MY SECRET BOL!!!.

ULU KHAN: BEFORE YOU DO THAT, WRITE ME A NOTE WITH YOUR SIGNATURE SAYING THAT I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BEING GONE CRAZY. WRITE IT VERY CLEARLY IN BOLD LETTER AND DO NOT WRITE LIKE DR.WRITES THE PRESCRIPTION IN GABBLY GOODBLY WAY!!! GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT BUT DO NOT MENTION MONEY IN THE NOTE!!!! ALSO WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TELL YOUR WIFE WHEN SHE ASKS ME "WHAT WERE HIS LAST WORDS BEFORE HE WENT CRAZY?". DO YOU WANT TO SHAVE BEFORE TELLING YOUR BOL ? BECAUSE THIS WILL BE YOUR LAST SHAVING BEFORE YOU GO "DEV DAS" (MONK)!

" SARU KHAN: ULU KHAN, YOU KNOW BY THE TIME YOU ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT MY BOL IS I WILL BE ON MEDICARE!!!. ARE YOU READY?

ULU KHAN: I DON'T THINK I EVER WILL BE SO LET US DO IT AND TELL ME VERY EASY OK. ADJUST THE REAR VIEW MIRROR TOWARDS YOU SO YOU CAN SEE YOUR FACE WHAT IT TURNS OUT TO BE AFTER YOU TELL ME YOUR BOL !. HERE, SPRAY THIS BREATH FRESHENER SO WHEN YOU YELL AT ME I DO NOT HAVE TO, AMONG EVERY THING ELSE, SMELL BAD BREATH!!.

SARU KHAN: MY BOL IS "ALALLA". OH! OH! WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME!!. MY EYE BALLS ARE ROLLED BACK!!!. I AM FOAMING FROM MY MOUTH!!! GOOOOOGAAAAA!!!!!BHOOOTTTT BANGGGGLLLAAAA!!!!!

ULU KHAN: AND MY "PAYYYYAAAAAAA"!!!. I WARNED YOU, DID NOT I ?. WHAT YOU ARE STARING AT ME FOR?. PLEASE TELL ME I DON'T LOOK LIKE YOUR WIFE TO YOU!!!. YOUR WERE ALWAYS A GOOD HUSBAND I MEAN GOOD FRIEND!!! PLEASE STOP BREAKING THINGS !. THANK GOD WE DO NOT HAVE EXPENSIVE CHINA WARE IN THIS HOUSE I MEAN CAR!!!. LET ME OPEN THE DOOR AND GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS MESS !. RUN ULU KHAN RUN AWAY FROM THAT CRAZY FRIEND OF YOURS!. WISH I WAS NOT A FAT BLOB !. LOOK AT THIS! JUST A FEW SECONDS OF RUNNING AND I AM HUFFING AND PUFFING LIKE "SOHAN HALWA EXPRESS" ! I THINK THIS RUNNING WILL CAUSE ME TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK. IMAGINE NEWS PAPER HEADLINE
WHICH READS "ONE FAT DEAD AND THE OTHER BRAIN DEAD"!!

SARU KHAN: ULU KHAN, ULU KHAN, STOP RUNNING. I WAS JUST ACTING. I AM FINE. LOOK LOOK SEE "FOAMY" THE SHAVING CREAM, IT WAS KEPT IN DRIVER SIDE DOOR COMPARTMENT. I USED IT TO MAKE IT LOOK REAL!!! STOP RUNNING AND GET IN OR I WILL GET THE TICKET FOR DRIVING SLOW!!!

ULU KHAN: YOU STUPID!!! I ALMOST DIED!! GIVE ME SOME WATER! AT LEAST ELEVEN GALLONS OF IT!!

SARU KHAN: WELL , ULU KHAN, ACTUALLY YOU WILL DIE WHEN I ASK YOU TO GIVE ME ALL MY MONEY BACK!!!!

ULU KHAN: SARU, IT WAS A GOOD ACTING ON YOUR PART. MAN! IT LOOKED REAL! I AM GLAD YOU ARE OK.

SARU KHAN: OF COURSE I AM OK. I JUST WANTED TO PROVE A POINT THAT BY SAYING SOME WORD PEOPLE DO NOT GO CRAZY. IT IS A NONSENSE. SO WHAT WAS THE SUBJECT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE THIS BOL BUSINESS?

ULU KHAN: SUBJECT OF HAZAR IMAM IS OUR IMAM AND NOT GOD.

SARU KHAN: OH! YES. THANKS ULU KHAN. SO LET ME ASK YOU,WHICH IMAM YOU KNOW OF THAT MARRIES MISS. FRANCE OR CUTE MODELS WHO ARE TWENTY OR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS YOUNGER?!! AND WHY? WHY HAZAR IMAM DOES NOT MARRY TO SOME ISMILI WOMAN?

ULU KHAN: SARU KHAN YOU MEAN YOU DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION? I AM SURPRISED!

SARU KHAN: NO I DO NOT. DO YOU?

ULU KHAN : OF COURSE I DO.

SARU KHAN: SO WHAT IS THE ANSWER?

ULU KHAN: IT IS A VERY LOGICAL ANSWER. YOU SEE,SARU, SUPPOSE THAT HAZAR IMAM MARRIES " GULI BAI " UP STAIR. NOW YOU KNOW AND I KNOW THAT GULI BAI HAS A BIG MOUTH. AFTER MARRIAGE SHE COMES OUT IN THE CHALLI (HALL WAY) TO GOSSIP WITH ALL THE OTHER ANXIOUSLY WAITING WOMEN. BUT TO DO SO SHE FACES A UNIQUE PROBLEM.

SARU KHAN:WHAT UNIQUE PROBLEM?

ULU KHAN: CAN'T YOU FIGURE IT OUT YOUR SELF, SARU? IT IS VERY EASY.

SARU KHAN: ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME OR I SLAP YOU?

ULU KHAN: THE UNIQUE PROBLEM IS THAT POOR " GULI BAI " ( NAME FOR HOUSE-WIFE) WOULD NOT KNOW WHAT PRE-FIX TO USE FOR GOSSIP. " TAMARA BHAI KAHETA HATA KE " OR "AINJA BHA COONAWA KE " !!!!!!(YOUR BROTHER WAS SAYING THAT.......) (IN OLD INDIAN TRADITON, WIFE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO MENTION HER HUSBAND'S NAME!!!! EVEN NOT IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND!!!!) OR "TAMARA KHUDA KAHETA HATA KE " OR "TAMARA IMAM KAHETA HATA KE ". (YOUR GOD WAS SAYING THAT OR YOUR SPRITUAL LEADER WAS SAYING THAT.....) POOR GULI BAI WILL BE CONFUSED & DIZZY AND WILL NEVER OPEN HER BIG MOUTH!! AGAIN.

SARU KHAN: WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH ALL THESE FUNNY STUFF FROM?

ULU KHAN: WELL, I AM BEING REALISTIC!.

SARU KHAN: WHICH IMAM'S PICTURE IS BEING PRAYED TO FOR : LIFE EXTENTION, DAILY BREAD, PROSPERITY, FERTILITY, GROWTH IN BUSINESS , FORGIVENESS OF ALL SINS, ANY HARM, NOT TO BE INDEBTEDNESS , AND END IT WITH THIS PATENTED COPY RIGHT RESERVED WORDINGS "AND SHOWER US WITH YOUR WORLDLY AND SPIRITUAL HOLLY GLIMPSES ".? NOW TEL ME WHICH IMAM HAS POWER TO ACCOMPLISH ALL OF THE ABOVE. THIS POWER ONLY BELONGS TO GOD. PRINCE KARIM HAS PLENTY OF HIS OWN PROBLEMS. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A "BLIND WATCH MAKER" ? HOW ABOUT HIS EX-WIFE INARA. CAN SHE PRAY TO KARIM TO AWARD HER A HUGE DIVORCE SETTLEMENT?!!! WHAT A NONSENSE! WHICH IMAM YOU KNOW OF WHO HAS FILTHY RICH FRIENDS LIKE KING OF SPAIN JUAN CARLOS, AND BILLIONAIRES LIKE ROTHCHILDS AND ROCKERFELLARS . IF HE IS A LEADER WHY, ULU KHAN , HE IS NOT AMONG US LIKE WITH POOR MANJEE BHAI OR WITH BAWA BHAI. WHY HE JUST VISIT US ONCE IN A THREE TO FIVE YEARS?.

ULU KHAN: HE CAN'T LIVE AMONG US BECAUSE THERE WILL BE LOTS OF PROBLEMS. FOR EXAMPLE LET'S SAY LITTLE ROZINA GOES DOOR TO DOOR AUCTONING "NANDI"( HOME-MADE MEAL-PROCEEDS OF AUCTION GOES TO PRINCE KARIM!!!!)
AND A HOUSE-WIFE ASKS LITTLE ROZINA "KIS KE GHAR KI HAI YE NANDI"? (FROM WHOSE HOUSE THIS HOME-MADE MEAL IS FROM?) IF SHE SAYS "HAZAR IMAM KE GAHR KI" (FROM THE HOUSE OF PRESENT SPRITUAL LEADER KARIM) THAN NO ONE WILL BID ON IT BECAUSE PURPOSE OF BIDDING IS , ACCORDING TO OUR FAITH, THAT WHOEVER BUYS IT, OFFERS IT TO HAZAR IMAM BY SOME "DEVINE MIRACLE" TO EAT IT!!!!!! AND POOR ROZINA WILL BE OUT THERE TRYING TO GET RID OFF THIS "NANDI" TILL "BAND BAJJA COMES HOME"!!!!!.
ANOTHER PROBLEM : IF HE STAYS AMONG US THAN WHAT WILL HAPPENT TO THAT FAMOUS "GEET"( SONG) : " TAME AAWJO AAWJO PIYAARA KARIM SHAH PIYAARA KARIM SHAH AAWO AMARE GHAAMDE ".......!!!!!!? (BELOVED KARIM YOU ARE MOST WELLCOME TO VISIT OUR VILLAGE !!)

SARU KHAN: " SELF DECEPTION IS EASIER THAN TAKING AWAY CANDY FROM A CHILD. " WE DECEIVE OURSELVES MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE. YOU KNOW IN "SATARA" (FOR SEVEN DAYS) WE CHANT PRESCRIBED SENTANCES OVER AND OVER FOR FIFTY-ONE TIMES LIKE "YA ALI TU RAHEM KAR YA MOUWLA TU FAZAL KAR" (OH! ALI BE MERCIFUL AND PRINCE KARIM BE GRACIOUS) AND MANY OTHERS LIKE THIS WITH "TASBEE" (ROSARY), THIS KIND OF PRAYER IS ATTRIBUTED TO GOD OF THIS CREATION ONLY AND NOT TO IMAM (LEADER).

WHICH IMAM HAS AUTHORITY TO GIVE A DEAD PERSON A PLACE IN HEAVAN!! THE REASON WHY I AM POINTING THIS OUT IS THAT WHEN AN ISMILI DIES, THE " MUKHI" (PASTOR) WHOULD PRAY THAT "MAWLA MARHUUM KE JANNAAT NASEEB KARE" (MAY PRINCE KARIM BESTOW PARADISE TO THE DECEASED).
WHICH IMAM CLAIMS: "HEAVEN & HELL IS IN MY HAND (TO BESTOW) ". ("KHANGEE FARMAN"-PRIVATE PRONOUNSEMENTS' BOOK PAGE # 72).

WHILE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN INDIA DYING OF STARVATION, WHICH IMAM WANTS TO BE WEIGHED IN DIAMONDS!!!!! AND WHY? (AND THIS MAN IN FARMAN TELLS US DO NOT HAVE A BIG EGO!!!!!!!)

ULU KHAN: ARE ALL THESE MILLIONS OF ISMILIS BELIEVING HAZAR IMAM AS GOD CAN BE WRONG?

SARU KHAN: TRUTH IS NOT DEMOCRATIC!!! TRUTH CAN NOT BE ESTABLISHED BY OPINION POLLS OR NUMBERS. IT CAN NOT BE MANUFACTURED BY EMOTION. YOU REMEMBER THIS "BHIKHARI" (BEGGAR) USE TO COME IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD AND SHOUTED WITH LOUD CRY FROM GROUND FLOOR SAYING "IF YOU WILL NOT THROW SOME COINS TO ME, YOUR CHILDREN WILL DIE BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY FOR MY CHILDREN. IF YOU DO NOT THROW SOME "ROTI " (TORTIAS) IN A PACKAGE DOWN TO ME FOR MY CHILDREN YOUR CHILDREN WILL DIE TODAY. IF YOU DO NOT THROW CLOTHES FOR MY CHILDREN THAN "KAMLI WALA" (HEAVENLY BODY) WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN" . ALMOST EVERY HOUSE-WIFE FROM FIRST FLOOR TO TENTH FLOOR THREW SOME THING AT HIM AND THE BEGGAR DID NOT EVEN HAVE CHILDREN. HE JUST CREATED THIS BIG EMOTION. NO, TRUTH IS NOT CREATED BY FLAWED HUMAN REASONING. IF THE WHOLE WORLD WILL SAY,SUPPOSE, THAT SUN WILL NEVER SHINE AGAIN THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT SUN WILL NOT SHINE AGAIN! BESIDE, GOD IS NOT CONTROLLED BY NUMBERS. NUMBERS DOES NOT MAKE GOD, GOD.

THAT IS WHY IN THE BIBLE IT SAYS "LET GOD BE TRUE AND THE WHOLE WORLD A LIAR". I REMEMBERED ONE HINDU YOUNG MAN, CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT, TOLD ME THAT HE CONVERTED TO CHRISTIANITY BECAUSE HE LIKED WHAT JESUS SAYS IN THE BIBLE "I AM THE TRUTH".

GOD IS TRUTH. NO NUMBERS WILL MAKE HIM TRUE. GOD DOES NOT GO UP AND DOWN LIKE "SATTA BAZAR" (STOCK MARKET).

ULU KHAN: DO YOU KNOW SARU WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT BEGGAR YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT?

SARU KHAN: NO. WHAT HAPPENED?

ULU KHAN: HE DIED.

SARU KHAN: HOW?

ULU KHAN: ONE TIME HE, THE BEGGAR, CAME LATE IN THE DARK AND STARTED HIS USUAL ROUTINE. THIS GULZAR BAI WAS ALL EMOTIONALLY CHARGED UP AND THREW A MOTOR CYCLE FROM NINTH FLOOR DOWN AND IT HIT THE BEGGAR AND HE DIED!!!!!

SARU KHAN: WHY DID SHE DO THAT?

ULU KHAN: BECAUSE GULZAR BAI THOUGHT THAT BEGGAR'S CHILD DID NOT HAVE MOTOR CYCLE!!!!!

SARU KHAN: YOU ARE JOKING RIGHT?

ULU KHAN: YES I AM. SARU LET'S GO BACK HOME WE ARE FAR FAR AWAY FROM HOME.

SARU KHAN : OK. NEXT EXIT WE GET OUT AND GO BACK HOME.
YOU KNOW,ULU,I HAVE LOTS OF OTHER ISSUES ON MY MIND THAT PUZZLES ME. WHY THERE ARE"KHANGEE FURMANS"?(PRIVATE HOLY COMMANDMENTS).

ULU KHAN: YOU MEAN IT IS "TOP KHANGEE" BUT AS SOON YOU PAY THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS AND BECOME MEMBER OF CERTAIN "MAJLEES" (MASS), THEY BECOME UN-KHANGEE FOR YOU QUICK! WHY "KHANGEE "+MONEY ="UNKHANGEE"?!!!

SARU KHAN: SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH USE TO SAY "ONLY TRUE BLUE WILL KNOW ME". (KNOW HIM BY "KHANGEE FARMAN").

ULU KHAN: YOU MEAN FRANK SINATRA WAS AN ISMAILI?!!!

SARU KHAN: NO! ULU (BUBBA!) . FRANK SINATRA WAS KNOWN AS "OLD BLUE EYES". YOU STUPID!!

ULU KHAN: OH! SORRY!.

SARU KHAN: WE HAVE MENU PRICE FOR ALL THESE VARIOUS MAJLEES AND PAY BIG DOLLARS TO BECOME MEMBER OF EACH OF THEM! IF YOU ARE POOR THAN YOU CAN NOT BE MEMBER. AND THE WOMEN MEMBER OF THE HIGH PRICE MAJLEES, LIKE LIFE & FIDAI,( WILLING TO DIE FOR PRINCE KARIM- MASS) MAKE SURE THAT THEY DRESS THEM SELVES UP WITH MOST EXPENSIVE "SARI" AND DIAMOND EARRINGS AND DIAMOND NECK LACE AND DIAMOND RINGS AND ...AND.....WHAT YOU CALL THAT THING .....I AM A MAN WHAT I KNOW WHAT TO CALL THAT THING......!! ULU KHAN DO YOU KNOW THAT THING.......

ULU KHAN: REMEMBER,SARU, I AM A MAN ALSO!!!! COULD IT BE "NAAK NI SEEREE?

SARU KHAN: THAT'S IT. NOSE RING ! YOU GOT IT,ULU, AND SEVEN POUNDS OF MAKE-UP AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON. NOW LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION, ULU KHAN, WHY ALL THESE .....WHY?

ULU KHAN: SO THEY CAN UNDERSTAND "KHANGEE FARMAN"!
YOU KNOW , SARU, MY "SAAS" (MOTHER IN LAW) GETS DRESSED UP,FOR ONE OF THESE MAJLEES IN SUCH A WAY THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE "TAJIYAS" (FLOATS)! IN NEW YEAR PARADE!!!!

SARU KHAN: YOU REMEMBER WE USE TO HEAR ALL THOSE "MOJEEJAS" (MIRACLES) BALONEY! YOU NOTICE THAT THOSE FAKE MOJEEJAS STORIES ALWAYS STARTED WITH "I HEARD THAT".....NO ONE EVER TOLD US THAT "I SAW IT". YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE STORY TELLER MAKES SURE THAT HE OR SHE DOES NOT GET COUGHT IN THIS "MAMBO JAMBO" . IT IS LIKE, YOU KNOW, ONE OF THOSE "SELF HELP" NONSENSE BOOK, LIKE "YOU CAN DO ANY THING WITH POWER OF YOUR SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND" AND THAN THEY WILL TRY TO AUTHENTICATE ALL THE BALONEYS BY GIVING REFERENCE OF THOSE INDIVIDUALS WHO DIED SEVEN THOUSSAND YEAR AGO!!! SO WE CAN NOT INVESTIGATE ABOUT THE CLAIMS!!!! AND DO YOU REALIZE THAT AS THE TIME PASSES BY, NO MORE MOJEEJAS ARE TALKED ABOUT. LIKE MOJEEJAS HAD ITS SEASON!!!

ULU KHAN: I HAVE BEEN READING THIS BOOK TITLED "THRONE OF GOLD", BY ANNE EDWARDS. IT IS ABOUT LIVES OF AGAKHANS AND WHAT I SAW AND READ IN THIS BOOK IS VERY DISTURBING. DISTURBING BECAUSE YOU WILL SEE LOTS OF PICTURES OF ALL THESE WIVES OF SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH THAT NEVER BECAME "RANI MATA" OR " MATA SALAMAT " OR " ANY MATA " NOT EVEN "ANY BEGUM" ! SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH MARRIED THIS "ITALIAN WOMAN " GENETTA AND WE DID NOT EVEN KNOW ABOUT HER!. SHE DID NOT BECOME ANY "MATA" (MOTHER) NOT EVEN " MATA MAMA MEEYYYA "! . GENETTA WAS HAZAR IMAM'S GRAND MOTHER!!. YOU WILL HAVE TO ORDER THIS BOOK THROUGH INTERNET. LET ME TELL YOU HOW DISTURBING IT IS THAT HAZAR IMAM'S MOTHER TAJUDOWLAH WAS PREGNANT WITH HAZAR IMAM AND THROWING UP ON HONEYMOON NIGHT!. THAT MEANS THAT HAZAR IMAM WAS CONCEIVED OUT OF MARRIAGE !!!!!!! YOU CAN VARIFY THIS THROUGH COURT RECORDS BY COMPARING BOTH THE DATES, PRINCE ALI'S MARRIAGE DATE WITH TAJUDOWLAH (WHICH IS I8TH MAY 1936) AND HAZAR IMAM'S BIRTH DATE! (WHICH IS 13TH DECEMBER 1936). SO ACCORDING TO THESE TWO DATES HAZAR IMAM WAS BORN 6 MONTHS AND 25 DAYS AFTER THE MARRIAGE!!!!! THIS BOOK , IN VERY OPENING PAGES, SHOWS THE FAMILY TREE OF AGAKHANS AND THE DATES AND EVERY THING ELSE. THE AUTHOR, ANNE EDWARDS , HAS WRITTEN MANY OTHER BOOKS ALSO. I THINK SHE IS VERY HONEST ABOUT WHAT SHE FOUND IN HER RESEARCH. THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS IN THIS BOOK SO OFFENSIVE THAT IF I TELL YOU, YOU WILL BITE THE REAR-VIEW MIRROR OFF THIS CAR! YOU MAY NOT EAT FOR FEW DAYS. TELLING ME YOUR "BOL" (SECRET WORD) DID NOT MAKE YOY GO CRAZY OR INSANE BUT THIS BOOK MIGHT.

YOU KNOW HOW BEGUM SALEEMA USED TO WEAR WHITE SHEET TO LOOK "SATI- DEVI" (TRUE SAINT) AND FOLLOWED TEN STEPS BEHIND HAZAR IMAM TAKING THAT " DEVINE-WALK "ON THE RED CARPET ALL AROUND THE "MANDAP" (TENT), WELL IF YOU SEE SALEEMA (PREVIOUSLY KNOWN AS LADY JAMES CHRICHTTON-THIS IS HER FIRST HUSBAND'S NAME) IN THIS BOOK , SHE LOOKS NOWHERE NEAR THAT SATI-DEVI AT ALL. SHE IS POSING AS A MODEL IN QUEEN MAGAZINE AND SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE BELONGS IN A "GAMBLING CASINO". I DO NOT HAVE COURAGE TO TELL YOU WHAT IS IN THAT BOOK ABOUT PRINCE ALY, THE ONE WHO WAS, ACCORDING TO SULTAN MOHAMMAD SHAH, WAS SUPPOSE TO TAKE OVER HIS DIVINITY "JOMMO" AND PROCLAIM RIDING ON DUL DUL HORSE THAT "ALI TE SAHI ALLA" (ALI IS TRUE GOD). YOU WILL HAVE TO HAVE STRONG STOMACH TO READ ABOUT HIM. REMEMBER THIS BOOK HAS LOTS OF PICTURES THAT WE HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
THERE IS A PICTURE OF THIS GIRL NAMED "SILVIA CASABLANCA" WITH HAZAR IMAM AND YOU KNOW WHO THIS SILVIA IS? HAZAR IMAM'S "FIRST GIRL-FRIEND!
SARU, IF YOU DO NOT READ THIS BOOK , THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT TRUTH WILL JUST DISAPPEAR !. TRUTH WILL STILL BE THERE. AND SARU, WHY OUR PARENTS DO NOT WANT TO READ AND KNOW THE TRUTH?

SARU KHAN: OUR PARENTS AND MOST OF THE ISMILIS (NOT ALL) HAVE AN "OSTRICH SYNDROM" THAT IS WHY.

ULU KHAN: AND WHAT IS THIS " OSTRICH SYNDROM " SARU?

SARU KHAN: YOU SEE , ULU KHAN, WHEN AN OSTRICH SEES A TROUBLE APPROACHING HIM IN A FIELD AND HE DOES NOT WANT TO FACE IT, HE ONLY BURYS HIS HEAD IN THE SAND THINKING HIS WHOLE BODY IS HIDDEN AND TROUBLE WILL JUST GO AWAY!!!! EVEN THOUGH HIS REAR END IS STICKING OUT!!!. DON'T YOU HEAR THIS PHRASE OUR PARENTS USE ALL THE TIME "DEKHVOO NAAHEE NEH DAJVOO NAAHI" (OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND) ?.

ULU KHAN: TRY THAT OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND BUSINESS WITH CANCER. JUST BECAUSE CANCER IS IN MY LUNGS BUT I CAN NOT SEE SO IT IS NOT THERE!!! OR TRY THIS... TELL THAT NEWLY MARRIED HOT TEMPERED ( DADA-BULLY ) GULBANOO THAT YOUR HUSBAND WAS SEEN WITH ANOTHER YOUNG GIRL IN "LOVE PARK" EATING " RASGOOLAS " (SWEETS) AND SEE IF THIS OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND RULE WORKS!!!!!! WHEN GULBANOO'S HUSBAND COMES HOME HE WILL BE OUT OF SIGHT FOR LOLOLOLONG TIME!!!!!

SARU KHAN: YES HE WILL BE OUT OF SIGHT OF THE GIRL FRIEND FOR LONG TIME!!!!

................TO BE CONTINUED.........

WELL COME : TO THE HONORED INVITED GUESTS. AS YOU CAN SEE I HAVE NOT FINISHED THIS ARTICLE YET AND THAT PROVES THAT THIS IS THE PREMIER SHOW , THE D'EBUT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN INVITED TO. I WILL FINISH IT SOON BY THE GRACE GOD . PLEASE AFTER CERTAIN INTERVAL CHECK IT BACK. PLEASE PURCHASE BOOK TITLED "THRONE OF GOLD" BY ANNE EDWARDS . YOU WILL SEE THE PICTURES OF YOUR GOD OR IMAM (WHAT EVER ) AND MANY WIVES THAT NEVER BECAME "ANY MATA"!! RANI MATA OR NOTHING. THEIR PICTURES WERE NEVER FRAMED AND HUNG ON THE WALL. YOU DID NOT EVEN KNOW THESE INDIVIDUALS. EITHER YOU CAN READ THE BOOK OR BE SPIRITUALLY STUBBORN AND SAY "HEY I HAVE FAITH IN MY HAZAR IMAM". REMEMBER FAITH IS NOT A "CHEWING GUM".

LET ME LEAVE YOU WITH FOLLOWING QUESTION:-

IN AMERICA THERE IS A CULT KNOWN AS "SANTARIA" , WHERE THEY KIDNAP LITTLE INFANTS AND SACRIFY THEM FOR THEIR GOD. WOULD YOU, AFTER THEM KILLING YOUR INFANT BABY, AGREE WITH THEM WHEN THEY JUSTIFY THIS CRUAL ACT BY SAYING " SO WHAT WE HAVE FAITH IN OUR ALLIGATOR GOD ".

TAKE YOUR TIME I AM NOT IN A HURRY.


REMEMBER: " GOD CHANGES HEARTS AND NOT THIS ARTICLE "
JESUS SAYS:"BEFORE YOU CHOSE ME I CHOSE YOU"

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING!!!! AND PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO COME BACK BECAUSE THIS ARTICLE IS NOT OVER YET BY ANY MEANS. I, AS A WRITER OF THIS ARTICLE, HAVE TO GIVE YOU INFORMATION ABOUT WHO I AM, WHERE I WAS BORN, WHO WERE MY PARENT ETC.ETC. I AM SURE MANY OF MY FRIENDS , MAY BE THAT INCLUDES YOU, WILL SAY HEY! I KNOW THIS GUY. HIS NICK NAME WAS .......... SON OFA GUN!!!!!!! SO COME BACK PLEASE IN FACT ANY TIME YOU WANT.